Essentials from the Top Drawer - blog

  • Mum would be proud!

    It's Mother's day!  Give her some flowers, sure, but take some time to also reflect on her wisdom.  When she said "You don't need a man or woman to be happy" just proves that she wants you to masturbate.  Mums know best!
  • What would Jesus do?

    Our Top Drawer Essentials (e)mailbag offers an endless stream of interesting questions and recently we were asked if there's a church discount.  Churches don't pay taxes in Australia, so I initially thought the request was a little rich, but then I thought 'what would Jesus do?'. 
  • Bring it on.

    Amid the lunacy, toilet paper memes and fighting in aisles of the supermarket for the last packet of cheezels in the state, it looks increasingly like we're going to end up locked in our homes.  Sure, if it drags on we'll be reduced to eating each other under the smoky haze of what was once a thriving economy and civilization, but until that time comes I think we all need to embrace it for the opportunity it is.  Bring it on...
  • Why not masturbate?

    I was in a supermarket the other day when I witnessed a pre-school age child delve into their underpants for a bit of a play.  Mum was underwhelmed and immediately told the kid to stop, to which the kid asked 'why?'.  I was with the kid ... I wanted to hear Mum's explanation too, but I only got the quintessentially parental 'because!'.  It's no wonder we grow up thinking masturbation is a bad thing.
  • Wrapped in bacon

    I know... your fingers or hands are fine.  They've worked wonders until now, from those clumsy first moments of self-discovery to the times when you made it part of your routine, because you felt like it or because you felt you needed to.  Then Top Drawer Essentials plants that seed of doubt in your mind that perhaps your hand isn't perfect. To illustrate my point, I feel this overwhelming need to talk about bacon and the principle that bacon makes everything better.

  • Don't forget Kevin!

    Some friends recently had a spate of holidays. Poor pets, sure, but things weren't all peachy amid their travel both around Australia and overseas. They didn't get mugged, lose luggage, hijacked or get Bali belly... but they did forget their vibrator, the one nicknamed 'Kevin'.  It mightn't sound like that big a deal, an undeniably first world problem, but it did interfere with their holiday. Whether 'Kevin' was an expectation for partner play or solo time is largely irrelevant. The fact is that he wasn't where he was needed or wanted. The bastard.
  • Creation appreciation

    We don't get a lot of hate-mail, but we do sometimes get interesting suggestions from religious zealots of a variety of faiths.  It's OK ... we're not liable to be on the receiving end of a fatwa, but our pro-masturbation stance is not 100% popular with all religions.  Of course, some religions get it, but not all. Many religions are instead content to deride masturbation as evil or contrary to some ancient teachings. It's inspired me to put a fresh slant on masturbation with an emphasis on appreciation and I hope that the church will follow suit.

  • For Boys and Girls?

    We had a question recently about the target ages for some of our products.  In particular, a few products created a bit of a stir because they apparently look to be for kids. As to whether those vibrators, or any of the other toys we stock, are for girls and boys, the answer is no.  And yes.  No, they aren't for little children, but the reality is that they are potentially for pre-adult teens.  Let's not kid ourselves that masturbation starts magically at the age of 18.
  • At least this can't be blamed on men!

    I was reading some articles on ABC Life recently and I was most interested in an article by Kellie Scott entitled 'More orgasms for women: It's time to close the masturbation gap'.  That women aren't embracing masturbation like men do is no surprise, disappointing and sad, sure, but not really a surprise.  What did come as a shock was the revelation that only one in four Australian women masturbate regularly, and that masturbation is largely uncommon in young women. No-one is liable to be more disappointed in that statistic than men. 

  • Why are you doing this?

    Since Top Drawer Essentials came on-line, we've been accused of many things as we look to establish our place in this niche of the retail industry.  Friends and family have raised eyebrows at us, so apparently, we're fair game for anyone looking to chest-poke the relative newcomers on the block.

    So let's front some questions and comments that we've been met with...

  • What if you can't?

    Sometimes the questions Top Drawer Essentials gets are worthy of sharing, anonymously of course.

    We recently received a query as to whether 'adult products' from Top Drawer Essentials are covered by the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS).  It's a great question and the short answer is no, the NDIS doesn't, currently, extend to covering any of a number of products and services related to sexuality.  But ...

  • Everyone needs a friend like Kevin

    I walked in late to a conversation the other night at a social gathering.  Men and women just talking and then I started to hear all the virtues of a friend named 'Kevin', who I'd never met but another friend had.  The guy sounded like superman: powerful, resilient, capable, and soon enough all the men all wanted to meet (or kneecap) this Kevin, while the women all coo-ed in admiration.  It took me a while to appreciate they were talking about a vibrator, affectionately known as 'Kevin'.